.Waiting.Room.s…

Today wasn’t a great day.  My mouth and my face are still sore from all the surgical work.  My diet has consisted of yogurt, soup and more yogurt.  Not that bad of a diet.  I love yogurt, but it gets to feeling too much like the previous days.  I had to cancel my counciling appointment due to the pain I was experiencing from my surgery.  Not very happy that I did that, but I don’t think I would’ve made it 10 minutes talking through a 60 minute session…especially with the state that my gums feel like.

It’s been a boring day today.  Very passive.  The weather hasn’t bothered me much, being as hot as it was and the silence around the day felt good.. but later felt lonely…

I love my life, but sometimes, I don’t know what I should be feeling about it. 

They say people can inspire you to do better, but at this point, I don’t want an inspiration –
I want a friend..

and I know how cliche that sounds, but I’m only telling the truth.  I could use a good friend right about now.

That’s not to say that I don’t have good friends, because I do, most of them are just so busy lately..

I don’t know how exactly to put it. 

I wish that I didn’t get so lonely like I do.  If I could just ignore it I would.

but, I’ve never been the type to turn emotions on and off like light switches.

I’m keeping a dream journal now.  Maybe I’ll start sharing that more and writing in it when I wake up to recall on my dreams and thoughts that occurred during my sleep.  It may become benefitial in its own weird way.  Eventually, I hope to start Lucid dreaming. I’ve done my good share of research on Lucid dreams and to be able to control my dreams has been a long time goal of mine since I was a little kid. 

Maybe this will open some doors.

Sincerest,

 

Alex.

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