Teacup In A Tempest..(Broken Mirrors and Distortion)

The original saying is “Tempest In A Teacup”, but flipping it on it’s back seemed more fitting for me in this case.

My biggest fear has been kissing me in the face the last few nights and maybe even more than that.  It’s killing me.  My biggest fear right now is that I won’t be prepared when my close friend from across seas comes to pay a visit to the US.. that I won’t be in the state that I can help provide and pay for things.. and it’s a little daunting.. I don’t know how to get rid of my fear… My mother tells me everything will be fine and I’ll be prepared, but, I’m still not sure.. it would kill me not to see her..

That’s been the thing that has been really frustrating me.  I don’t know how prepared I will be and things just feel so slow right now that I’m feeling even moreso ill.

I’m going to see my councilor today, but I don’t know how I’m going to get over my fear.  I can’t hardly sleep anymore at night.. I’m a nervous wreck.. a bundle of stress… and sometimes I wish I had someone that I can vent to more, or someone that understands my fears. 

I guess a better way to explain things, is that my fears are borderlining the same thing as they’ve been.  The whole feeling of not being sure on my own success.  It just seems that I’ve been letting too many people’s words get to me and I’m running out of ways of dealing with my stress..

Sooner or later, I’m going to breakdown.  Not a psychotic breakdown, nothing violent – more of an implosion, a feeling of unsurity, and just tears..

Just posting what I feel like.

Take me or leave me.

-sincerely

Alex

 

 

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